What did we do last night that was yellow?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
