i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
