the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
