remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
