Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
