I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
