Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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