my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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