I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
