he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
