covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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