Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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