the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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