i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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