I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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