Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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