chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
