you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
