Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
