That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want is dick and wine.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
