i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
