I'm going to jail i love you
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
