All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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