His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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