I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
