When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
