I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
