I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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