I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
