he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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