Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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