She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
