i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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