Welp...herpes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
