I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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