He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I touched a dick in church today
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
