Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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