ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
