cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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