I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
