Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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