Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
