i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
