I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
