i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
