I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize