the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
