32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
