Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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