dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
