If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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