i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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