when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
