The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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