Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
