I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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