We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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