Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize