The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
