i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
