"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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