i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
two words...techno handjob
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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